“I recognized at that point that ninety-five percent of the people we thought we were trying to help were trying to kill us and we needed to approach this whole effort very differently…or nothing was ever going to change…We had to get much more curious about our main constituents, the Afghan people.” ~ Chris Kolenda

In 2007-2008, Chris Kolenda led an 800-paratrooper task force in eastern Afghanistan. While there, he motivated a large insurgent group to switch sides, the only example of such success in the 20-year history of the war.

He was the first American to have both fought the Taliban as a commander in combat and to have successfully negotiated with them in peace talks.

We can learn a lot from his stories.

If you actually want to help people, you have to start at curiosity. They have to come to the conclusion that you get them. You can’t lecture people into that conclusion. You have to do it through the questions that you ask – and by listening.

Listen to Choose to Be Curious #247: Curiosity in Combat, with Chris Kolenda

Christopher D. Kolenda Ph.D., is a retired Army colonel, West Point graduate, internationally renowned combat leader, and award-winning author. He is founder of Strategic Leaders Academy.

Founded by Chris, the Saber Six Foundation helps veterans, families and others turn post-traumatic stress into post-traumatic growth through development and adventure programs that strengthen purpose, belonging, and well-being.

Check out Sir George Scott Robertson’s The Káfirs of the Hindu-Kush, published in 1896 and available online at the Library of Congress.

I’m not sure I’ve had another conversation quite like this one, but for more rich discussions about curiosity in conflicts and peace-building, try these C2BC Classics: Curiosity and Conflict Resolution with Dr. Megan Price. and Curiosity & Peace Building, with Alp Özerdem.

Theme music by Sean Balick; “Turning to You” by Landsmen Duet, via Blue Dot Sessions.

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