“If you actually want to help them change behavior, you’re going to have to learn some really good questions. You’re going to have to learn how to help them see themselves in a different light. And you can’t convince somebody of that. That has to come from inside.” ~ Brian Fretwell

Brian Fretwell’s work grows out of a rich mix of neuroscience, anthropology, leadership and what you might call self-interested curiosity.

One of the many things I’ve come to appreciate about his approach is his focus on what went well. 

Rather than obsessing about where we fell short as individuals or as a team and consoling ourselves we will learn from our mistakes, he encourages us to learn from our successes instead. 

The secret, he says, is connection. 

We talk about our brain’s desire to add value, conveying honesty and confidence, “finding blueberries” as a metaphor for the adaptive function of sharing success in community, building a success map, using the FIRES Model (Feelings/Influence/Resilience/Ethics/Strengths) to create the narrative of our journeys, where connection happens and why it works — and how I found love in producing my show.

There’s something different that happens when another human is asking you the question.

Listen to Ep. #303: Curiosity & Finding Good, with Brian Fretwell

Brian Fretwell helps people see hidden patterns of success through authentic curiosity and connection. Learn more at Finding Good. Here’s what he learned from a 15 year-old meth addict.

Thanks to Ken Woodward for introducing me to Brian’s wonderful work. Check out Ken Woodward’s Curated Questions. I enjoyed interviewing Ken about his journey wrestling with questions.

If you enjoy connecting through storytelling and journeys of discovery, you might appreciate these C2BC Classics: Architecting Curiosity with Pim Schachtschabel, Monica Canfield-Lenfest & Anthony Rocco, Curiosity, Stories & Belonging, with Kiran Singh Sirah & Curiosity Is the Gateway to Connection, with Mike Morales.

Theme music by Sean Balick. ”Sunday Lights” by Onesuch Village, via Blue Dot Sessions.

You can subscribe to Choose to Be Curious on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.